In the French Harry Potter books Voldemort's middle name is Elvis.- Useles Knowledge
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Capitalization can really change a sentence.
I love to eat candy.
I love to eat capitalization.
Funny how one night, one second, one decision, could change your life forever.- Statement
There's nothing worse than being horny at the wrong time.- Funny
Straight men who say women aren't funny must really hate getting laid.- Statement
"Not funny." - people who are not funny- Funny
The bags under my eyes are just for holding the stuff I'd carry in my thigh-gap if it weren't full of thigh.- Funny
Staying immune to the bullshit of others prevents any unnecessary suffering and murder charges.- Funny
Totally sucks that after years of practice I still can't telepathically send other drivers a brain hemorrhage.- Funny
If someone tries to talk to you today scream FORCE FIELD and run away. Trust me on this.- Crazy
99 problems and pizza solves every single 1- Funny
I can't wait to disappoint everyone around me again today.- Funny
"Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?"
Dear Monday, I want to break up. I'm seeing Tuesday & dreaming about Friday.
It's not me, it's you
Google knows so much about me and still hasn't been scared off yet. I'd better not let this one get away. Google, will you marry me?- Funny
It's funny how my boss thinks I'm gonna do any work today.- Laziness
Clowns get pretty upset when they stop being funny. That's why they turn into serial killers.- I see
Humans are funny. They spend money they don't have, to buy things they don't need, to impress people they don't even like.- Statement
I'm not sure what just happened but I'm hoping it stays between me and that funny little leprechaun.- WTF
I got mad when someone laughed on the train this morning. It's 8am. Nothing is funny.- Annoying
The best people in your life are the ones that always stick with you whether you have something funny and thought provoking to say or not.- Statement
Beer can't solve all of your problems but it can make them more funny.- I see
It's funny how they call it getting up in the morning when all it does is bring me down.- Sad
Remember when you thought you were funny but everyone was just drunk?- Idocy
Funny is the absence of seriousness, so if someone is seriously funny, they're a force to be reckoned with.- Idocy